Updated: Jul 25, 2019
Shame and guilt are not the will of God for our lives. But how do we stay from it? We have to desire God and not this world and it’s ways. We have to learn not to put ourselves in positions to feel shame and guilt. When we sin, we are convicted. And if you aren’t, I pray that you seek God more and build a personal relationship with Him because not being convicted means we aren’t thinking of our actions and whether they please God or not. So, how do we stay away from sin? How do we stay away from the condemnation, the shame and guilt that may come with the sin?
I struggled with sex for the longest in the past. I tried over and over again to stay away from having sex but I kept slipping up. It’s so hard to stay away from sex when you’re staying the night with a guy, hanging out with them 24/7, and having no boundaries. You must have boundaries. You must do things differently. You can’t keep doing the same thing and think that change will appear. So I had to change my actions. I had to stop having sleepovers. I had to stop hanging out so late. I had to put boundaries in place. Honestly, boundaries are just a start. There’s more. I had to get an understanding with the opposite sex that hey, I’m waiting until marriage and of course he respected it. I have to say no to my flesh daily. I have to stay in my Bible daily. I have to stay busy serving God and His Kingdom. The biggest thing is having that personal relationship with God. I desire to please God more and more daily. More than I desire to please myself. When I stay in God’s Word and prayer, it becomes easier to say no to sin. You will desire to live a life that isn’t full of sin once you become closer to God. It becomes easier not to fall into my flesh because it’s obvious that’s what the enemy wants us to do.
Honestly, one day I slipped up and that’s when the shame and guilt came started to develop. I repented and turned from it, but I still felt bad. I still felt condemned and I felt that God hated me. God does not hate you and God is not mad at you. He loves you and His grace is sufficient for you. But, you must turn from your sin and let God do a new work within you. I also felt unworthy to teach and encourage others. I felt like I was a disappointment to others and my spiritual parents. I had the opportunity to share with them that I slipped up and man was it a relief. See the devil wants to keep you in shame and guilt. He wants you to be so disappointed in yourself that it seems impossible to change, do things different and become a better disciple. He will tell you that God doesn’t forgive you and that people will judge you. I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. It’s so important to confess your sin not only to God but to confess it to those who are holding you accountable. Sharing the sin with my spiritual parents uplifted me even more. It made me take their accountability more serious and it made me so appreciative. I’m thankful for the people that God has placed in my life to love me, challenge me and hold me accountable. Not only is the accountability piece stuck in my head but pleasing God is too. I never want to go back to the same feeling I felt when I had sex. I never want to stay in shame and guilt. It's not healthy at all. I don’t desire to live in sin either.
If you have sinned and you are feeling shame and guilt, confess your sins to God and repent. Forgive yourself because He has forgiven you. Jesus died for our sins to be washed away. Confess your sins to someone who is holding you accountable. Have them pray with you and walk you through. Change your patterns. Stay away from whatever put you in a position to sin. Don't let sin have any power over your life. You have dominion. And again, forgive yourself. Build a stronger relationship with God. Pray, pray, pray. Living in shame and guilt are spirits that do not need to be a part of your life. Plead the blood of Jesus over yourself and declare that God has healed and delivered you from any type of shame, guilt or disappointment. Declare that it will no longer hold you bondage or have any authority over your life. Declare that it can no longer prevent you from moving forward and forgiving yourself. You can move forward. You will move forward. You are healed and you are delivered. Make room for God to be the head of your life. Pray and die to your flesh daily. Repent and turn from sin. Be free, whole and complete in Christ.
Decree God's Word over your life. See scriptures below.
“Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior].”
1 John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
“So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.”
God loves you. Never forget it.